An old guru walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath.
This made him a super callused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
She was Soooooooo Blonde . . . * She thought a quarterback was a refund. * She thought General Motors was in the army. * She thought Meow Mix was a CD for cats. * She thought Boyz II Men was a day care center. * At the bottom of an application where it says "Sign here:" she wrote "Sagittarius."
She Was Soooooooooooooo Blonde... * She took the ruler to bed to see how long she slept. * She sent a fax with a stamp on it. * Under "education" on her job application, she put "Hooked On Phonics."
She was Sooooooooooooooooo Blonde.. * She tripped over a cordless phone. * She spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice can because it said "Concentrate." * She told me to meet her at the corner of "WALK" and "DON'T WALK." * She tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order.
She was Soooooooooooooooooooo Blonde... * She studied for a blood test. * She sold the car for gas money. * When she missed bus #44 she took bus #22 twice instead. * When she went to the airport and saw a sign that said, "Airport Left," she turned around and went home.
She Was Sooooooooooooooooooooo Blonde... * When she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved. * She thought if she spoke her mind, she'd be speechless. * She thought that she could not use her AM radio in the evening. * She had a shirt that said "TGIF," which she thought stood for "This Goes In Front."
It takes an Italian Man to make a Woman feel like a Woman. On a recent transatlantic flight, a plane passes through a severe storm. The turbulence is awful, and things go from bad to worse when one wing is >struck by lightning. One woman in particular loses it. Screaming, she >stands up in the front of the plane. "I'm too young to die," she wails.
>Then she yells, "Well, if I'm going to die, I want my last minutes on >earth to be memorable! Is there ANYONE on this plane who can make me >feel like a WOMAN?" For a moment there is silence. Everyone has >forgotten their own peril. They all stared, riveted, at the desperate >woman in the front of the plane. Then an Italian man stands up in the >rear of the plane. He is gorgeous--tall, well built, with dark brown hair and hazel >eyes. He starts to walk slowly up the aisle, unbuttoning his shirt
.....one button at a time. > > > > >........No one moves. > > > > >......He removes his shirt. > > > > >.......Muscles ripple across his chest. > > > > >.......She gasps... > > > > >.......He whispers: > > > > > "Iron this, and get me something to eat..."