[~Dani~]

Funny Jokes Fergie. I like they.

[fergie]

Bathroom conversations

I was barely sitting down when I heard a voice from the other stall saying:

"Hi, how are you?"

I'm not the type to start a conversation in the restroom but I don't know what got into me, so I answered, somewhat embarrassed,

"Doin' just fine!"

And the other person says:

"So what are you up to?"

What kind of question is that? At that point, I'm thinking this is too bizarre so I say:

"Uhhh, I'm like you, just traveling!"

At this point I am just trying to get out as fast as I can when I hear another question.

"Can I come over?"

Ok, this question is just too weird for me but I figured I could just be polite and end the conversation. I tell them ,

"No........I'm a little busy right now!!!"

Then I hear the person say nervously...

"Listen, I'll have to call you back. There's an idiot in the other stall who keeps answering all my questions!!!" [/b]

[~Dani~]

That's a good one Fergie

[Remi]

I know this is a little late, but...

Do you know why the Easter Bunny hides the eggs?











So nobody knows he's been fooling around with the chickens. ;D

[fergie]

Remi, did you have to go and open a carton of egg yolks ?;D

How can you drop an egg six feet without breaking it?
By dropping it seven feet - it won't break for the first six.

Mick: I see you've got your Easter shirt on.
Nick: Why do you call it that?
Mick: Because you've spilt egg all down the front.

What happens if you play tabletennis with a bad egg?
First it goes ping, then it goes pong.

Did you hear about the wizard who turned his friend into an egg?
He kept trying to poach his ideas.

Why can't you tease egg whites?
They can't take a yolk.

What do you call an egg that goes on safari?
An eggs-plorer!

What happens when you tell an egg a joke?
It cracks up!

How many eggs does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None. Eggs don't have hands.

What day do chickens hate the most?
Fry-day

Why did the chicken lay an egg?
Because it would break if she dropped it!

Why did the chicken cross the playground?
To get to the other slide! ;D ;D
;D...Sorry I'll get me coat

[Nana]

And she's outta control!!!!!

[~Dani~]

[Natalie]

Warning.....this is so stupid! LOL

An old guru walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath.

This made him a super callused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

[Pancake]

I'm peeing my pants!!

[Natalie]

More really stupid jokes...

She was Soooooooo Blonde . . .
* She thought a quarterback was a refund.
* She thought General Motors was in the army.
* She thought Meow Mix was a CD for cats.
* She thought Boyz II Men was a day care center.
* At the bottom of an application where it says "Sign here:" she wrote
"Sagittarius."

She Was Soooooooooooooo Blonde...
* She took the ruler to bed to see how long she slept.
* She sent a fax with a stamp on it.
* Under "education" on her job application, she put "Hooked On Phonics."

She was Sooooooooooooooooo Blonde..
* She tripped over a cordless phone.
* She spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice can because it said
"Concentrate."
* She told me to meet her at the corner of "WALK" and "DON'T WALK."
* She tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order.

She was Soooooooooooooooooooo Blonde...
* She studied for a blood test.
* She sold the car for gas money.
* When she missed bus #44 she took bus #22 twice instead.
* When she went to the airport and saw a sign that said, "Airport Left," she
turned around and went home.

She Was Sooooooooooooooooooooo Blonde...
* When she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved.
* She thought if she spoke her mind, she'd be speechless.
* She thought that she could not use her AM radio in the evening.
* She had a shirt that said "TGIF," which she thought stood for "This Goes
In Front."

[~Dani~]

[Natalie]

We is FRIENDS.

Me And You Is Friends ...
You Smile, I Smile .....
You Hurt, I Hurt ....
You Cry, I Cry ....
You Jump Off A Bridge .
I Gonna Miss You!



Also:

Today is the official Slap Your Irritating Co-workers Holiday:

Do you have a co-worker who talks nonstop about nothing, working your last nerve with tedious and boring details that you don't give a damn about?

Do you have a co-worker who ALWAYS screws up stuff creating MORE work for you?

Do you have a co-worker who kisses so much booty, you can look in their mouth and see what your boss had for lunch?

Do you have a co-worker who is SOOO obnoxious, when he/she enters a room, everyone else clears it?

Well, on behalf of Ike Turner, I am so very very glad to officially announce today as SLAP YOUR IRRITATING CO-WORKER DAY!

There are the rules you must follow:

* You can only slap one person per hour -- no more.

* You can slap the same person again if they irritate you again in the same day.

* You are allowed to hold someone down as other co-workers take their turns slapping the irritant.

* No weapons are allowed... other than going upside somebody's head with a stapler or a hole-puncher.

* CURSING IS MANDATORY! After you have slapped the recipient, your "assault" must be followed with something like "cause I'm sick of your stupid-a$$ always messing up stuff!"

* If questioned by a supervisor [or police, if the supervisor is the irritant], you are allowed to LIE, LIE, LIE!

Now, study the rules, break out your list of folks that you want to slap the living day lights out of then get to slapping... and have a great day!!!!



Use at will...

[Nana]

I might do that more than once...

[Pancake]

It takes an Italian Man to make a Woman feel like a Woman.
On a recent transatlantic flight, a plane passes through a severe storm.
The
turbulence is awful, and things go from bad to worse when one wing is
>struck by lightning. One woman in particular loses it. Screaming, she
>stands up in the front of the plane. "I'm too young to die," she wails.

>Then she yells, "Well, if I'm going to die, I want my last minutes on
>earth to be memorable! Is there ANYONE on this plane who can make me
>feel like a WOMAN?" For a moment there is silence. Everyone has
>forgotten their own peril. They all stared, riveted, at the desperate
>woman in the front of the plane. Then an Italian man stands up in the
>rear of the plane.
He is gorgeous--tall, well built, with dark brown hair and hazel
>eyes. He starts to walk slowly up the aisle, unbuttoning his shirt

.....one button at a time.
>
>
>
>
>........No one moves.
>
>
>
>
>......He removes his shirt.
>
>
>
>
>.......Muscles ripple across his chest.
>
>
>
>
>.......She gasps...
>
>
>
>
>.......He whispers:
>
>
>
>
> "Iron this, and get me something to eat..."

[Natalie]

Yep, sounds like an Italian man!