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Jan 31, 2006 7:56:56 GMT -5
Post by britgirl on Jan 31, 2006 7:56:56 GMT -5
Good one Remi. LOL.
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Feb 3, 2006 15:15:12 GMT -5
Post by Looney Linn on Feb 3, 2006 15:15:12 GMT -5
Sorry I can't stay away from the work jokes! They are by far my favorites:
Ten great reasons to go to work naked
10. No-one ever steals your chair. 9. Gives "bad hair day" a whole new meaning. 8. Diverts attention from the fact that you also came to work drunk. 7. People stop stealing your pens after they've seen where you keep them. 6. You want to see if it's like the dream. 5. To stop those creepy programmer guys from looking down your blouse. 4. "I'd love to chip in... but I left my wallet in my pants." 3. It's an inventive way to finally meet that 'special' person in Human Resources. 2. You can take advantage of your computer monitor radiation to work on your tan.
And ... drum roll ... the Number One reason to go to work naked :
1. Your boss will never say, "I wanna see your ass in here by 8:00!" ever again.
Ten best things to say if you get caught sleeping at your desk
10."They told me at the blood bank this might happen." 9."This is just a 15 minute power nap like they raved about in that time management course you sent me to." 8. "Whew! Guess I left the top off the white out. You probably got here just in time." 7. "I wasn't sleeping, I was meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm." 6. "I was testing my keyboard for drool resistance." 5. "I was doing a highly specific Yoga exercise to relieve work-related stress. Do you discriminate against people who practice Yoga?" 4. "Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out a solution to our biggest problem." 3. "The coffee machine is broken." 2. "Someone must have put decaf in the wrong pot." 1. " ... in God's name, Amen."
I think this one may have actually been posted already, but its funny so seing it again can't hurt.
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Feb 4, 2006 14:50:58 GMT -5
Post by britgirl on Feb 4, 2006 14:50:58 GMT -5
I can't recall seeing any of those before Looney Linn. I'm sure I would've remembered. They're funny. LOL.
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Feb 5, 2006 23:27:52 GMT -5
Post by WilsonFreak on Feb 5, 2006 23:27:52 GMT -5
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Feb 6, 2006 8:58:24 GMT -5
Post by Looney Linn on Feb 6, 2006 8:58:24 GMT -5
My personal favorite is #8: "Diverts attention from the fact that you also came to work drunk." One more for you ladies: A prayer for the stressed Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I cannot accept, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of those I had to kill today because they got on my nerves. Also help me to be careful of the toes I step on today as they may be connected to the feet I may have to kiss tomorrow. Help me always to give 100% at work... 12% on Monday, 23%on Tuesday, 40% on Wednesday, 20% on Thursday, and 5% on Friday. Help me to remember... When I'm having a bad day and it seems that people are trying to wind me up, it takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile and only four to extend my arm and smack someone in the mouth!
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Feb 7, 2006 10:16:38 GMT -5
Post by britgirl on Feb 7, 2006 10:16:38 GMT -5
Help me to remember... When I'm having a bad day and it seems that people are trying to wind me up, it takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile and only four to extend my arm and smack someone in the mouth! Thanks Looney Linn, love it.
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Feb 15, 2006 11:58:29 GMT -5
Post by Looney Linn on Feb 15, 2006 11:58:29 GMT -5
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Feb 15, 2006 12:37:17 GMT -5
Post by texasgal on Feb 15, 2006 12:37:17 GMT -5
Linney, those are priceless. Thanks for the cheer-me-up chuckle.
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Feb 15, 2006 20:22:38 GMT -5
Post by britgirl on Feb 15, 2006 20:22:38 GMT -5
Looney Linn, they're great. Thanks for sharing. Great find.
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Feb 15, 2006 22:41:32 GMT -5
Post by Natalie on Feb 15, 2006 22:41:32 GMT -5
Yes, I LOVE those! They are from www.despair.com I LOVE that site, they have hilarious stuff!!!
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Feb 15, 2006 22:56:10 GMT -5
Post by Librarian on Feb 15, 2006 22:56:10 GMT -5
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Feb 19, 2006 16:52:23 GMT -5
Post by Remi on Feb 19, 2006 16:52:23 GMT -5
Someone did a Brokeback Mountain version of a Shanghai Noon trailer. Click Here (It takes a long time to load.)
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Feb 22, 2006 7:36:46 GMT -5
Post by texasgal on Feb 22, 2006 7:36:46 GMT -5
SUCCESS
At age 4 success is . not peeing in your pants. At age 12 success is . having friends. At age 16 success is . having a drivers license. At age 35 success is . having money. At age 50 success is . . having money. At age 70 success is . . . having a drivers license. At age 75 success is . having friends. At age 80 success is . not peeing in your pants.
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kittykat
Ned Coleman's Partner
Keeper of John Beckwith's Hands
Okay, Kitty Kat, this feels borderline inappropriate.
Posts: 197
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Feb 22, 2006 10:08:29 GMT -5
Post by kittykat on Feb 22, 2006 10:08:29 GMT -5
SUCCESS At age 4 success is . not peeing in your pants. At age 12 success is . having friends. At age 16 success is . having a drivers license. At age 35 success is . having money. At age 50 success is . . having money. At age 70 success is . . . having a drivers license. At age 75 success is . having friends. At age 80 success is . not peeing in your pants. Hahahaha, I've read it somewhere else already, but I still think it's hilarious!
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Feb 22, 2006 12:29:39 GMT -5
Post by britgirl on Feb 22, 2006 12:29:39 GMT -5
That's funny Texasgal.
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