MAC
Archer Avenue Resident
Posts: 330
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Post by MAC on Sept 23, 2004 16:51:42 GMT -5
Sorry, the order of the article is mixed up. Read this after Part 1.
My Family of Friends Last month I had a little cancer scare. My mammogram was clear, but when I went in for my annual exam, my doctor felt something in my left breast. "It's probably nothing," she said. But she gave me the card of a specialist and made me swear I'd have it checked out within six weeks. I decided to postpone panic until I had more information, and I didn't tell any of my friends, because I didn't want anyone else to worry. The day before the appointment, I phoned Susan. "Are you very busy tomorrow? I'm going to be in your neighborhood." Susan is rarely too busy to find time for a late-afternoon movie, but she wondered what would bring me to her side of town. I told her, as lightly as I could. "The whole thing is probably just an annoyance," I said. I'd call as I was leaving the doctor.
I got to the doctor's office early -- a few minutes after I arrived, Susan walked into the waiting room, and refused to leave until she knew I was fine. No matter that we waited more than an hour. No matter that she was missing a business appointment to be with me. Susan was more relieved than I was when it turned out that the lump had disappeared. And I finally understood what was keeping me in L.A. As it turns out, I'm not really single, after all. I may not have a husband and kids, but I do have a family -- Susan, and all the other friends who would have loved me enough to worry about the lump in my breast if I hadn't loved them too much to tell them about it.
I don't have a beau to help with the tank on the barbecue, so I simply decided to attack the monster myself. Wearing my dirty gym clothes and armed with the inadequate tool I keep around in case a pair of pliers is required, I went out to the backyard sure I was about to be blown up. Ten seconds later, with a turn of a little knob, I had removed the empty propane tank and exchanged it for a full one. To think that for all these years, I needed a man to do that.
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Post by hurltomato on Sept 23, 2004 18:56:30 GMT -5
That article and your response to it is a good wake up call to those of us who sometimes forget--
His hair maybe thinning and the crow feet multiplying around those laughing eyes, but the heart remains true even when he says, "I've got a handle on the mac 'n cheese hon. Call me if you need help changing the LP tank and putting on those brats... "
No sweat baby! You got plans tonight?? HT ;D
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Post by texasgal on Sept 26, 2004 2:41:23 GMT -5
MAC, we had a related discussion in another thread regarding dating, marriage, etc. and the advantages of being single.
I believe there are a few of us who really aren't meant to be in relationships. It even makes sense on a demographic level since there are more women than men. That old saying that there's someone for everyone simply can't be true based on population stats alone.
I feel there's a time when singles embrace their singleness. I think at some point we outgrow the urge to get partnered and learn to like our privacy & freedom. We don't just learn to live with alonness, we thrive on it. Remember, being alone and being lonely aren't necessarily the same thing. I think it's worse to be with someone and wish you weren't than to be alone.
I have a book mark with a quote from one of my heroes of literature - Ralph Waldo Emerson. The quote is appropos to this topic. It says: "For everything you have missed, you have gained something else."
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needingthebigO
Anthony's Spanish Tutor
Keeper o'd'Crotches
Lip licking delicious!!!
Posts: 228
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Post by needingthebigO on Sept 26, 2004 3:15:48 GMT -5
I agree tex. Nothing makes me happier about being alone than remembering a bad relationship in my past! I picture that jerk and smile at my present situation. Most of the time I don't even think about it unless someone points it out to me. I have been at restuarants alone and had strangers ask me to join them. I figure they don't realize I've been alone for years and am quite use to dining by myself. When I want company, I always have friends who will join me. I've wondered often about who came up with the idea of one woman to one man. Could they not count? Maybe Brigham Young had the right idea. Just think. If you had several spouses, there would be more help with chores and if you didn't feel like having sex, you could take the night off and someone else could step in for you. Of course, I would rather be a polygamist. It would be fun to have a lot of husbands!!! They do say that variety is the spice of life and there are 3 Wilson brothers. I wonder if they can cook?
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Post by texasgal on Sept 26, 2004 3:42:26 GMT -5
NeedingO, thanks for an interesting perspective. The multiple parent-structured family you propose makes sense in today's world. Today's hectic life requires a two-income marriage - especially if there are children in the family. That means two overworked, overscheduled adults raising children. That can't be a good situation. Having one parent stay at home and two bread-winners seems ideal.
But this is a single gal's opinion for what it's worth.
Ha! As for sharing a Wilson or two: I'd be crazy not to!
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Post by hurltomato on Sept 26, 2004 9:49:51 GMT -5
I have been at restuarants alone and had strangers ask me to join them. I figure they don't realize I've been alone for years and am quite use to dining by myself. NeedingO- I have heard many women comment that they could never eat alone in a restaurant... What's with that anyway? The first time I heard it- I was surprised, because I was never even conscious that it was uncomfortable for some women. Some have indicated fast food restaurants are all right, but a formal restaurant...no. I have actually found wait staff to be kinder, more conversant, considerate, and even more attentive when I am alone in a formal restaurant (fast food be damned). I can watch people, I always have a good book, take out a daily planner and go to town on next week's plans, or this years Christmas list. Daydreaming about Owen and Luke is not out of the realm of possibility either... I guess I have never focused on being alone or felt self-conscious about it. Life is definitely a state of mind. Truth be told, I actually felt more self-conscious sitting across the table from a good looking colleague at a seminar and watching him loudly snort through the meal, laughing at his own jokes... Eeewwww! HurlT ;D
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Post by Librarian on Sept 26, 2004 13:41:25 GMT -5
Thanks for sharing that article, MAC. I concur with HT. I travel at least once a month for my job, luckily I have never felt uncomfortable eating alone at any grade restaurant. That may be unfortunate for my waistline though
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Post by Pancake on Sept 26, 2004 14:24:53 GMT -5
I believe that I myself am not meant to be in a relationship. I love finding myself and discovering new things about me. Those r things you cannot do when you are in a relationship. Unfortunately, I can't eat alone. Not because i'm self conscious or anything but I would get so bored. I love to talk!!! If I ate alone I would probably zone out and people would think there was something wrong with me lol !!! I thank God everday that I have a beautiful talent and passion and i'm not preoccupied with having a boyfriend. I have many friends who can't live without a man and everytime they have one they cheat on them. I don't understand it. If you're going to cheat you might as well be single. I have a few very close girlfriends and in the entire time i've known them, They have had a boyfriend or they had a fling with a guy. I am the only one that has been single for a long period of time.(I've only had one serious boyfriend) I'm the only one that has ever been single!!! They always complain about their boyfriends and I always tell them to take a break and be single so they can find themselves and get a sense of who they are. But they never listen and they keep jumping into relationships and cheating on them and bouncing around from guy to guy. In a way it's not so bad for me because i get to meet more people and have great friends! But...they dont last very long!!! lol I have a friend who is getting married (and she is just not wife material) she cheats all the time and she just loves attention from men but she always complains about it. Sh'es in such a rush to get married and have kids because she says she has nothing else to look forward to in life. WE'RE ONLY 22!!! She's gonna be so miserable when she gets older because she was in such a rush to have kids now shes just gonna float through the rest of her life! But..she wont listen to me so there'snothing i can do. I guess some people won't realize it until they're 80 years old and full of regret. Im sorry I blabbed...I said I talked alot!!!
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Post by hurltomato on Sept 26, 2004 15:00:52 GMT -5
That may be unfortunate for my waistline though Too right -- Garlic Alfredo & Crab over linguini still has the same number of calories whether you're sitting alone or sitting with Owen Wilson...Unfortunately May as well pass the Chardonnay and top off my glass, Cheers... HT
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Post by AlsoAVirgo on Sept 26, 2004 19:59:01 GMT -5
While I would love to get married and start a family, I am very picky. I won't date just anyone to say I have a boyfriend or so I have someone to take to outings with me. I'd much rather be single than in a miserable relationship. I, too, have only had one really serious relationship a few years ago. I've dated a little since then, but the guys have turned out to be complete losers. I just keep on telling myself that I will meet someone special when it's meant to be. Until then, I'm happy being single. Since I work with three guys who don't like to go out for lunch very often, I've gotten accustomed to eating alone. At first I didn't like it, but I've gotten used to it. So much so that sometimes I prefer to go alone. Staring at a computer screen all day, I need to get up and get some fresh air at lunch or I'll go stir crazy!
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Post by Natalie on Sept 27, 2004 10:17:42 GMT -5
While I would love to get married and start a family, I am very picky. I won't date just anyone to say I have a boyfriend or so I have someone to take to outings with me. I'd much rather be single than in a miserable relationship. I, too, have only had one really serious relationship a few years ago. I've dated a little since then, but the guys have turned out to be complete losers. I just keep on telling myself that I will meet someone special when it's meant to be. Until then, I'm happy being single. That is EXACTLY the way I feel! And I too don't have a problem eating alone.
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