From the Mind of HurlT

[Gage51]

Thank You for the lovely Christmas present HurlT.

Beth

[fergie]

Going off topic for a moment to say happy one year anniversary to a fanatastic forumite....
Even Luke's toasting you with a cup of Irish coffee, sporting some fine bristle and wearing hiking boots...
Here's Luking at you kid ;D

Photo courtesy of wilsonbros.com

[Remi]

Fergie said:

Going off topic for a moment to say happy one year anniversary to a fanatastic forumite....
Even Luke's toasting you with a cup of Irish coffee, sporting some fine bristle and wearing hiking boots...
Here's Luking at you kid ;D

Awww that's beautiful Fergie!! hopes to get on Fergie's "good side" by the time MY anniversary rolls around... Happy Anniversary HT! We LOVE you!

[hurltomato]

Furgie has it straight and I thank her for her notice... One year ago I arrived at this site after a string of hapless, helpless client death and hours spent with a grieving, angry families. I grabbed two Killian's, sent my guys out for pizza and took a Owen Wilson Web cruise to find something beautiful and special to offer a ground-up chunk of self-doubting humanity...

What I found was this site -Pollyanna, Librarian, Looney Linn, MAC & Kumar. Blissful, senseless, humorous relief and no eye strain!! I have enjoyed my sharing over the past year and many of you have called me a friend. Old and New friends have posted support of my only talent or have sent me PM's to that effect and I can only offer my personal thanks of the kindest sort.
I appreciate the positive words and the acceptance I have found here. Do Andrew, Luke, Owen & Wes know about the richness of persons here?? Oh- I think it fairly screams off the page!!
Love - HurlT

[Nana]

Happy anniversary HT!

YOU have certainly contributed to this relief we all find here.

Btw, I just printed your stories, which we'll be read in bed as a good book should. Love ya, NB

[Nana]

If this was in person, I would give you a standing ovation!

I just loved it! Thanks HT!

[tequilaroses]

Hurl-T:

I finally was able to set aside some much deserved time to read the latest three installments of your wonderful story!

What can I say? It is fantastic! You have such a unique talent - it is a real treasure!

I am looking forward to any future installments!

[bubbles4play]

Great work HT...I am fairly new to this board, and as an aspiring writer myself, I found your work to be quite refeshing, entertaining, and even inspirational in a way. Lovey to peruse your words.

[shari]

this is fantastic hurlT..love it!

[WilsonFreak]

HurlT, I am SO glad you're here! Your stories are so talented. I also Greatly Enjoyed your trip through Texas stories, they were amazing! I'll try to find that thread and post this there too, but please, please, do write more! Oh yeah, I remember the name, Texas Toast thread. Beautiful work!

[venusinscorpio]

HT,

I hope you're doing something with your writing!!!

Greeting from the four seasons of Ireland, snow, rain,
hailstones and sun in one day!

[lotus]

(Hi Venus)

HT,
Keep your stories going. I will always read them, you are so talented.
(Sorry that I don't always post here)

[hurltomato]

During the downtime of anticipating the SXSW experience from a few of our members, I couldn’t stand the dysfunctional lag and went to work. Although I have created this blond and decidedly St. Patrick’s sequel, I have respectfully waited to post it until after the March 17th holiday. It is simply because “The Tales of Real-Life Austin TWBS” have been far more captivating than anything contrived from fantasy. I only hope this adds a fillip of senseless fun to a previous fictional tale:
thewilsons.proboards20.com/index.cgi?action=display&board=anything&thread=1084285367&start=21

Dental Dynamics

[/b][/i]

If only his miserable lunch entrée had been palatable and worth this irritation of delay and aggravation. It was his own fault for agreeing to meet that persistent foundation representative in the galleria restaurant downstairs and dammit-- now it was the restaurant’s fault for not having adequately rinsed the romaine. In some insidious danger zone between the garlic croutons and the grated Parmesan cheese, his Caesar salad had erroneously detoured through an unexpected gravel pit. He had heartily munched with great gusto until the marble grit had hit his back molar with a solid crunch and a definitive crack. It was hard to say what dental damage had been done, but the restaurant owner had been adamant that he be checked out immediately before he even left the building. Heaven forbid that a liability claim be made and the restaurant’s reputation end up as damaged as his back molar. His immediate concern was the nuisance of this mishap and even though his day had generally been unplanned; his tongue couldn’t help revisiting the scene of destruction with alarm bells going off at every pass over the uneven dental surface.
The restaurant maitre’de had already tried to get him an emergency appointment with a dental practitioner upstairs, but the dentist’s harried receptionist had informed him that their office was double-booked for the afternoon. Undeterred, the restaurant owner himself had called another dental “specialist” in the upper office professional suites and consequently he had been re-routed into a place called A Kidz Smile Zone…??

Offhand, he had wondered if this neck of the woods was anywhere near the afternoon’s version of theTwilight Zone as a young freckled face across the waiting room gave him a strange snotty smirk and remarked,

“You’re waaay too old mister. The Doc won’t even know what to do with you.”

“Well- They’ll just have to wing it with me, pal.” The “Doc” had damn well better figure something out, little buddy or I personally guarantee the Caesar salad will be eradicated from the downstairs menu…

The receptionist was putting on her jacket as she indicated that the doctor would be seeing him shortly. Glancing at her name tag, he listened while the rather attractive Maria explained that “Doc” had allowed the day staff to leave early for a special long weekend to celebrate Saint Patrick’s holiday. She reassured him that his previously completed x-rays would be evaluated and treatment recommended within the half hour. Thirty minutes later, the tech staff eventually left as well and the office suite became far too quiet for his liking. He fidgeted as he waited for his test results and the expert opinion of the “pediatric dental specialist…”

Rolling up the sleeves on his damp, creased, white Oxford shirt, he perused the waiting room with its little chairs and areas designed for kids to play. Resting his own wind-blown blond mop against a wall decorated with Disney animated film photos; he visualized the planning that must have gone into the feel-good childhood design. It impressed him that someone had cared enough to eliminate a youngster’s decisive fear and had created a receptive and reassuring environment. One corner had been designated for little boy Lego construction/destruction with traditional war-minded pirates and knights in mind. The opposite corner housed an angular built-in bookcase for little girls, which had been sectioned into small rooms creating a multi-room mansion that any Barbie doll would love to win in a lucrative, divorce settlement. Walking over to the bookcase, he touched the molded blond bombshell reclining on a miniature sofa in all her nude glory, arms and legs akimbo. He mused that even this inanimate Barbie template outclassed the real-life versions he had been exposed to lately. Picking up the doll, he absently ran his thumb over the perky, plastic hillocks; he grinned and idly wondered which Hollywood “plastic surgeon” Malibu Barbie preferred.

“Are you about ready to have that molar checked now or are you too busy trolling for your next celebrity date?”

Startled, he looked up to see a diminutive creature dressed in a kelly-green lab coat and a god-awful curly wig; the color and stringy texture of discarded pumpkin guts. A matching fake beard completed St. Patrick’s nightmare and without another word, the silent leprechaun turned and led him down the hall, past the exam room where x-rays had been completed and into the doctor’s inner sanctum. One side of the office was surprisingly modern, yet spacious with well-appointed warm cherry-wood accents. The other side of the room was a unique recreation of turn of the century dentistry and he was motioned toward an antique upholstered dental chair. A decorative shadow box on the wall held a mounted array of old-fashioned dental instruments brassy with age. Climbing into the exam seat, he noticed the shelves framing both sides of the nearby window and was that… Whoa-The chair release tipped back suddenly and the flick of the exam light blinded him for just a moment. An absurd thought filtered through the harsh glare and entered his head when he realized that no woman had ever managed to get him prone as fast and ready as this funky little leprechaun.

“Open please.” The no nonsense request focused his returning sight on heavily-lashed feminine eyes and when he did not respond, she tapped the stainless steel dental pick against his pouted lips, demanding his attention. This Irish banshee was definitely a woman in charge.

“Open, closed, tongue, no tongue, fast, slow—anyway you want it, Doc.” He opened his mouth and while she watched, that shameless tongue deliberately left a moist trail across the upper bow of his mobile mouth. Glancing at the x-ray out of his sight-line, she didn’t waste a moment as she put a vice like grip on his grizzled chin and angled his rough jaw to gain access to the affected molar. She needled, picked and prodded at the back of his mouth until she heard a garbled phrase and a gasping, gulping swallow.

For THE WILSON board use only.

[hurltomato]

Dental Dynamics – Continued

[/i][/b]

“Time-Out-Doc-Loosen-The-Lock-Jaw…Geez!” Grabbing her slim wrist, he pulled the offending little pick axe out of his mouth, gave a negative shake of his head and reprimanded.

“Woman- I am not letting you stick one more sharp metal object in my mouth until you take off that goofy wig and beard. I’ll have you know that I have an extremely low tolerance for pain and I would hate to have my reflexive instincts take you down looking like such a creepy little troll...”

He might have heard her snicker, but silently smiling, she put down her tools, pulled off the latex gloves, garish beard and then the coarse wig. Shaking out her reddish-chestnut waves, she took the next revealing step and unbuttoned the green lab coat and peeled it back over shapely shoulders. Slack-jawed, he casually admired the white scoop-neck long sleeved tee dotted with tiny shamrocks, but it was the mesmerizing twin trails of her green suspenders that made his mouth go dry. His pale blue eyes went dusk-dark while tracing the green bands across oddly familiar collarbones, framing a valley of strangely familiar freckles. A misty recollection nagged him following the suspenders path over familiar soft, full hillocks that would have made Malibu Barbie blush and subpoena her inept surgeon in civil court.

Watching the recalled memory slowly wash over his face and make a lucid connection, she felt vaguely satisfied that, up until now, she had remained a true mystery for him. She didn’t protest as he deliberately lifted one suspender and pulled the green elastic to the side creating a helluva hairpin turn around an erect visible crest. He grinned up into her amused expression as he again ran that absent thumb; this time over an excessively animated feminine peak.

“Good thing I didn’t bite down on this not-so-little pebble or you’d be fitting me for a full set of dentures Doc…”

“Oh yeah? And would that be before I belted you or after they wired your bruised and broken jaw shut, hotshot?”

He dodged her raised mock fist, and laughed aloud over her teasing threat until she pulled the underside of the instrument swingtable low over his lap and grazed bare knuckles over his own obvious prominence and felt him buck.

“One question- just when did you know it was really me?”

“Not such a mystery Doc.” He gestured off to the side. “You have a picture of yourself and your parents on the shelf behind you and after all, I did watch you- or was that your father, devour at least three helpings of my mother’s turkey during that Thanksgiving meal.”

He fixed on her trim backside as she got up and walked across the room and over to her desk to pull a bottle out of her bottom file drawer.

“Well- let’s not spoil a great tradition here, hotshot…I think I can offer a little of my own turkey to a needy patient.” She moved back toward him and put a bottle of Wild Turkey and a squat tumbler on the swingtable, now mercifully concealing his tight jean discomfort. Keeping her eyes on his mouth, she poured two fingers in the crystal and offered the double-shot to him.

“Take a drink and hold the liquor over the problem tooth for as long as you can stand it. Since you’re already sitting in my great-great-grandfather’s old chair you may as well enjoy his most requested pain-numbing remedy. Listen up, there’s a disclaimer here- The spittoon’s on the floor and swallowing is optional. However sir, wasting that good old blend would be such a damn shame…”

Truth-be-told, his tooth was feeling no pain at all, but that could hardly be said about the conflagration below his beltline. Reading her perceptive expression, he lifted the glass and toasted her challenge - We wouldn’t want to waste the good ol’ bourbon blend, would we Doc? Holding the swill over his tooth, the fumes alone infiltrated his sinus cavities and made his eyes water. Not to be outdone, he swallowed and then felt the 100-proof fuel strip the plaque off his gums, dissolve his tonsils and then move on to ulcerate his stomach lining. The heated lava flowed all the way down, pooling in his lap to effectively torch his pilot light. He choked on his next gasping breath as she continued.

“Let’s talk about your exam here, hotshot. Fortunately you did not damage the tooth; there’s no crack in the enamel and that rough surface you may be feeling is a relatively small chip in the filling. You have plenty of time to consult with your regular dentist and have him repair or replace it.” She capped the liquor bottle and surprisingly reached out to rub her forefinger over the notable vertical crease in his full lower lip. The chapped furrow had always been prone to dry-cracking and her gentle touch was a soothing balm that others had never, ever offered. They had predictably latched onto his most obvious distinction, no more and no less than any routine scavenger reporter. It was her biased attention to his mouth that inspired him and guided his hand through her red-gold tresses to capture her neck and pull her down to a hairsbreadth above his lips...

“Yes- Let’s talk about your exam here, Doc. Unfortunately that little metal pick of yours is not terribly convincing. And-considering I still have full possession of those chunky square eyeglasses of yours; I do not have great confidence that you’re “seeing” the whole picture. Humor me Doc- I think you need to personally check out that bad-boy molar for cracks and uneven surfaces before you farm me out to anybody else.”

Pulling her into his persuasive kiss, he invited her sensitive tongue to taste and ‘talk wild turkey with the bad-boy’- exploring his minor dental issues and majorly tempting his weak sexual resistance. Moving the mobile swingtable aside, she leaned forward insinuating her thigh between his; dangerously testing the engineering limits of the decrepit dental chair. He allowed her to glaze the recesses of his most intimate orifice and at some mutually satisfying point; the defective tooth became a side issue of no consequence. The ultimate reward was the rare pleasure he had found only once before in a misty Jacuzzi tub and had not experienced since…

Quietly, they closed down the dental office for the rest of the afternoon and when he humorously offered her a less-than-Irish-green margarita at a private location of his own choosing; she willingly accepted.

The American Dental Association may not offer any specific award for exceptional dental service, but days passed without a restaurant getting sued, without dentures being fitted, and without a trace of a toothache at a very secluded place he soon came to know as A Manz Smile Zone…??[/b]

For THE WILSONS board use only.

[bunnypanda]

HurlT! Thank you! Thank you!! Thank you!!!

Wow it was SUPERB and very funny ;D But you know, there is one bad thing: I am hungry for more Well I am a pretty patient girl ;D so I can wait.

Thank you VERY much again for this. I am going to read it again and wander into the Mind of HurlT tonight ;D